Bonnie Milligan Shares How the Kimberly Akimbo Cast Came Together After a Heartbreaking Loss
The Tony-winning actress on how the late choreographer Darius Barnes helped her find her character, and what to expect from her And Just Like That... cameo.
Design by Leah Romero, Photo Courtesy of Joan Marcus
Places, please for ELLE’s monthly column Showstoppers, where theater’s biggest stars reflect upon the moment in their career where the famous phrase “the show must go on” became a little too real. When things don’t go according to plan onstage, here’s how the pros react—and what they take away from it.
This month, Bonnie Milligan, who just won the Tony Award for Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical for her turn as Debra in Kimberly Akimbo, pays tribute to the show’s late associate choreographer, Darius Barnes. Below, Milligan, in her own words, details the loss for the Kimberly Akimbo cast and how their community came together in a difficult time.
Between the Off-Broadway run and Broadway run [of Kimberly Akimbo] we lost our associate choreographer, Darius Barnes, who I referenced in my Tonys speech. So, on the first day we all got together for Broadway, we just sort of took a moment to talk about him. We had a potluck, toast, and discussion about him and our memories and our love of him. Before [Broadway rehearsals] even started, we acknowledged his absence and what that would mean going forward. He was such a part of us building [the show] and the joy in being there.
More From ELLE
I know in times when I was struggling with my own journey of trying to figure out how to calibrate Debra, and how much I was allowed to sort of love Kimberly, because as a person who had lost her father recently, I was sort of taken back to a place of being a human with another human who’s at likely the end of their life and clinging to them, I didn’t know how much of that was appropriate for the show and how much of it was just me. He was very instrumental in those [moments]. When I would get a little overwhelmed when things would happen, he would kind of reassure me and be with me and help specify the emotional journey I wanted to bring in through those movements and through those things.
Darius Barnes at the Off-Broadway Atlantic Theater Company opening of Kimberly Akimbo
Bruce Glikas
So, we had a big potluck, I think at the end of the first week. We lit a candle. We each talked. A very dear friend of his has taken over, Brittney Griffin, as our associate choreographer. And so, that was nice to sort of still feel like you have a piece of him and his history. She’s brought so much amazingness to the Broadway production. That was something that felt like we were like, “How do we go on from here?”
This piece has been so fresh in all of our minds. We, especially coming back from Covid, really felt lost and felt someone gone too soon. He lives on with the art. I sort of said in my [Tonys] speech, as far as my dad goes, I get my voice from my dad, so he gets to live on through me in other ways. So, that’s been sort of the major crossroads of how we continue from here.
Bonnie Milligan in Head Over Heels as Pamela
Noam Galai
You know, there were other times when I got a sinus infection during Head Over Heels and I remember being on stage and having to learn in the moment, I had warmed up and everything was there, and then I started to belt and it didn’t want to come through, and I had to sing the whole show around it. That was really scary. My co-star, Rachel York, took me to the side and she said, “You’ve got this. You know how to do this, you know your voice. It’s okay.”
So, there are things that can just be a simple little roadblock like that or something giant like a loss that, for me what it’s always come down to has been the people around me and how they sort uplift me and how we, together, get through it.
Bonnie Milligan and her Tony Award for Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical
Little Fang at the Carlyle
Talkback
“I mean the recognition already meant everything—to be in this community, and to see this group of nominees look a little bit more like the world than we've had in a while. To win and to be up there and feel wonderful and fat and glam and all these things, and to be respected. A lot of times we’ve been delegated as plus-size folks off to the side. You come on stage and sing one impressive thing and then you leave, and you don’t really have an arc. To literally be awarded for acting [meant everything]; sure, I sing a lot in the show, but acting is what a Tony is.
“And, I’ve got to say to America: You can do this. None of my circumstances should have had me here, and I fought against a lot, but it just meant the world. I’ve always felt this calling to do this. For years, especially during the pandemic, when everything shut down, I thought, you know, I was a pretty good student. I could have been lawyer. I could have been a doctor. Have I made all the dumbest decisions? So this, it was incredible.”
“I hope that this signals a continued space and desire for new work that is original and a little more cutting and deep and meaningful and makes you leave feeling something. Don’t get me wrong, I love shows where you just go and have a lot of fun. Same with movies. It depends on what you’re in the mood for. But, there’s nine of us on stage in this show, no movie star, producer, or actor. It feels like art. We have middle-aged people who’ve seen it 16 times and teenagers who have seen it 16 times. I think I’ve only ever seen a show three times. That’s incredible. We’ve had affordable tickets also, so that people can do that. I think there’s something accessible about our show in so many ways that it’s hitting the people that need to see it. And that’s massive.
“We’re also representing, on a Broadway musical stage, this low-income family where the dad works at a gas station and the mom is pregnant at home. She’s a teen mom, and there’s a criminal aunt and people that you don’t necessarily see. I remember when it was a big deal when All In The Family and Roseanne were on TV because we hadn’t seen families like that before. It feels very like that. That’s also why it’s so important for someone like me to be seen on a stage. It’s just a character. There’s nothing in it about my size or something. I just get to be a human. I get to be an actress and someone gets to come and see the show and see themselves on stage.”
“We had Peppermint as the first out trans woman to originate a leading role on Broadway. We had queer love, we had queer joy without trauma, with just discovery. It was Pamela, my character, not wanting to be gay because she didn’t know it was an option. And then it just happened. It was celebrated. We had men dressed up as sheep and dancing around. It was all the things that are a little bit camp, but with a lot of meaning. We had people come see that. I remember, I think, one of our biggest fans had seen it 40 times.”
“Andy Einhorn helped me throw together a show and he was like, ‘You get three things that are just for you.’ He was like, ‘What do your fans want from you?’ And I said, ‘Funny and belting.’ And he’s like, ‘Okay great, and then you get three numbers that can fit that criteria or not, they’re for you.’ I knew I wanted to do a Disney princess number.
“I knew I was filming it, and I thought this could go viral. We’ve got to make this good. And it did. By the time I was on tour with Kinky Boots going around the country, so many people stopped me at the stage door to say they had seen that video and it had just come out. I think it’s well over 2.5 million views at this point. It’s nuts.”
“I’m in a couple of episodes. Michael Patrick King sent me peonies the following [the Tony Awards] that said, “And just like that...you won the Tony.’ I grew up loving Sex and the City. I conned my mom into getting HBO so I could watch it when I was like 16. Kristin [Davis] and Cynthia [Nixon] have both seen [Kimberly Akimbo]. I know Sarah Jessica [Parker]’s kids have. She’s planning on coming. Because Sarah Jessica and Matthew Broderick both did How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying with Victoria [Clark, who plays Kimberly] they’re like, ‘Oh we’re absolutely coming.’”
“[And Just Like That] was the kindest set ever. So nice. [Michael Patrick King] directed one of the episodes I’m in, and I don’t know how much I can say. But at one point I said, ‘This is so crazy because I'm doing da da da da da with one of the Sex and the City girls.’ And he goes, ‘Well now you’re a Sex and the City girl.’ And I went, ‘Oh, my God.’”
“I think that’s why so many audiences have come to our show and have felt so seen in the show. We’ve all went through something, especially during the pandemic. It didn’t have to be a human loss, but we lost a regular way of life for a while. Knowing that time is fleeting and not being bogged down by that, but instead leaving with this purpose to go forth and make what time we have here mean something.
“I think it’s also about speaking up for yourself and advocating for your own needs when maybe others around you aren’t helpful, like Kim and her family, and seizing the day. I think of the final lyrics of the show, ‘You never know and nor do I, when we’ll have to say goodbye. So just enjoy the time because no one gets a second time around.’”
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Bonnie Milligan currently stars as Aunt Debra in Kimberly Akimbo at the Booth Theatre. Tickets can be purchased here.
Samuel is the Assistant to the Editor-in-Chief at ELLE Magazine. His interests include music, theater, books, video games, and anything to do with Taylor Swift. He famously broke both his arms at the same time in fourth grade.
![new york, new york december 08 associate choreographer darius barnes poses at the opening night of atlantic theater companys kimberly akimbo at the linda gross theater on december 8, 2021 in new york city photo by bruce glikasgetty images](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/gettyimages-1358045647-64a71257e3d86.jpg?resize=980:* "Atlantic Theater Company's "Kimberly Akimbo" Opening Night")
![new york, ny july 26 bonnie milligan performs during the opening night curtain call of "head over heels" on broadway at hudson theatre on july 26, 2018 in new york city photo by noam galaigetty images](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/head-over-heels-bonnie-milligan-gettyimages-1005932794-64a713e9ca078.jpg?resize=980:* ""Head Over Heels" Broadway Opening Night - Arrivals & Curtain Call")
